


Bloom.

by peonymangoes



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Bad Boy Hwang Hyunjin, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Good Boy Yang Jeongin, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Secret Relationship, Self-Discovery, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric, im bi so that means everyone else is too oops, pls read, shitty homophobic small town setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26043436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peonymangoes/pseuds/peonymangoes
Summary: Yang Jeongin, in his last year of high school with good grades, traditional and religious parents and targeted by bullies.Hwang Hyunjin, a delinquent who doesn’t care what anybody thinks of him, who drinks and smokes and is considered every parent’s worst nightmare.Yet, Jeongin finds himself falling harder and harder for the pretty boy who wears black nail polish and smells like artificial fruits.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 8
Kudos: 119





	Bloom.

**Author's Note:**

> Me, an atheist with atheist parents and a non religious family who doesn’t know much about it: ah yes i will write a fanfic with religious people in it. 
> 
> Also a warning: this is not insinuating that all christians/religious people are homophobic/bigots, it’s just a fanfic. I know plenty who are great, open minded people, but i also know those who actually make my brain hurt. 
> 
> Anyways, now that’s done with, I hope you guys enjoy reading this :)

Yang Jeongin finds his table scribbled with curses and insults in thick, black sharpie, that wouldn’t come off, no matter how hard he rubbed it with his fingers. 

He sighs, and takes a seat. It wasn’t like this was an uncommon occurrence, just that this was the first time he hasn’t been able to wipe it off normally. 

These bullies are evolving he thinks and ironically, he finds himself smiling. 

Even Seungmin questions him with convern and curiosity about it, how he could remain so happy all the time. Honestly, he didn’t know, he didn’t even know if he was happy, all he knew was to just smile and let these types of things to pass by. It could always be worse, is what he usually tells himself. 

Kim Seungmin was his best friend since childhood. They went to church and choir together, their families took holidays with each other and they lived down the street from one another. He was always protective of Jeongin, cussing at the other kids who bullied him, and nearly gave a concussion to some guy who made fun of his braces. 

Seungmin was just reliable, and a pretty decent person. They had fun together, and that was all Jeongin needed. He was sure that his best friend felt the same way as well. 

The teacher walks into the class and either chooses to ignore Jeongin’s desk or she really doesn’t notice it. He pays attention, listening intently on what religious imagery is shown in Romeo and Juliet. It interests him, the concept of forbidden love and relationships. He wonders what he would do if he were in Juliet’s or Romeo’s shoes, maybe he would run away. It would be easy to, considering that it was sixteenth century Europe. He could simply put some things in a sack, perhaps chuck in a block of cheese and an apple, and just leave everything behind. 

Momentarily, while she excuses herself to the restroom and asks the class to answer some questions she’s written on the board, Jeongin finds himself thinking about what would happen if he himself, simply ran away. He doesn’t think that he could do it, if he were honest - he had braces that had to he taken care of meticulously and he doesn’t have much money on him either. His parents would probably get worried too, and scold him for being so careless. 

Then the teacher walks back in and Jeongin quickly pretends that he had been doing his work all along, instead of daydreaming. 

-

“Hey, did you manage to wipe that stuff off your table yet?” Seungmin sits next to him during lunch, just as Jeongin is about to put some rice in his mouth. 

He chews for a few seconds before swallowing. “No, I think they wrote it in sharpie. I’ll figure something out after school.” 

“Isn’t it my turn to clean though?” 

“Oh yeah, I forgot. The class makes me clean every other day anyway.” 

“Tch, I’m telling you, that you should let me help out. I feel bad you know?” Seungmin grumbles, shoving pieces of chicken into his mouth. “I don’t know how you put up with it.” 

“Okay, and I’m telling you, that it’s fine. I’m used to it.” 

“It doesn’t make it any better.” 

Seungmin was right, it didn’t make it any better. 

“Meh, whatever. It won’t last forever.” 

“You’re too nice, I’d probably kill someone by now.” Seungmin chuckles, an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. 

Jeongin decides to humour him. “Yeah, maybe that’s why you’re not a target.” 

-

After lunch, Jeongin has PE, so he makes his way to the bathroom to change. He doesn’t like using the common bathrooms that everyone else uses to change in, mostly because he doesn’t like being around them. The last time he tried changing with everyone else he almost got his underwear flushed down the toilet. 

To combat this, he prefers to use the toilets all the way on the last floor, where almost nobody uses it. Just as he climbs up the last of the stairs and turns to make it to the toilets, he manages to trip on air and fall right onto his front, with a grunt. 

He looks up, there’s people staring down at him. Jeongin eyes go wide and he begins to panic. He hasn’t run into anybody up here yet. Someone’s hands go down and he recoils back, but instead of being hit or pushed around, when Jeongin looks back up, the hand is still extended towards him. 

“What are you waiting for? Christmas?” The person with the hand snaps, and Jeongin laughs a little bit, laced with nervousness. 

“Sorry.” His arm goes upwards and their finger intertwine, before he’s pulled up onto his feet. 

Now Jeongin can really take a proper look at who’s infront of him. There’s two boys and one girl, but the one who stands out is the one who’s just helped him. 

He was pretty, really pretty, with long dark hair and full, pink lips. Jeongin feels the air being knocked out of his lungs the longer he looks at him. 

“I don’t get even a thanks, in return?” His voice snaps Jeongin out of his daze, who laughs uncomfortably again. 

“Sorry, um thank you.” Jeongin then pauses. “Wait, aren’t there classes going on right now?” 

The pretty boy with the long hair just snickers, before bringing a vape into his mouth, breathing it in and then blowing out the smoke. Jeongin watches, a little amazed. 

“Don’t worry, we won’t take too long. You go do what you need to do okay?” 

Jeongin nods. 

While he’s in the bathroom changing, he can’t tell if it’s because he finds the other boy was cute or not, but the more he thinks about it, the more familiar the boy looks, Jeongin just can’t put his finger on it. 

“Hwang Hyunjin! Kang Mina! And-“ 

Aha! That was it! Jeongin knows that name from somewhere... let’s see... a delinquent named Hwang Hyunjin... 

Oh, he knows who it is now. He can’t believe he didn’t notice him. 

“Miss, we were just waiting for one of our friends, he said he got a really bad stomachache.” A girl’s voice is heard, he presumes it was Mina. 

Wait, but there wasn’t anyone else in there except for him. He checked every stall, and then it hits him. Jeongin himself was their excuse. 

“Really?” The teacher says, and Jeongin recognises him as the discipline teacher. Oh no, he was going to be in so much trouble wasn’t he? 

“Yeah, he’s still in there.” Hyunjin says. “Maybe it was the eggs?” 

“Very funny, now go to class before you get into even more trouble.” The discipline teacher says in a dry voice, clearly not wanting any tomfoolery. 

“Wait, but there actually is someone in there, honestly.” 

“Hwang Hyunjin, one more tim-“ 

Jeongin is almost done changing, he shoves his uniform into his bag rather than folding it which would definitely get him in trouble later. It doesn’t matter, he wants to get out of here fast. 

He knows that whoever was outside could hear the stall door slam shut and Jeongin slowly opens the bathroom door, to which the teacher looks pleasantly surprised. Maybe it was because he knew Jeongin was a good student so he had nothing to be worried of. 

“Oh, Yang Jeongin?” The discipline teacher turns to Hyunjin and his friends. “So you were actually telling the truth. Jeongin how’s the stomachache?” 

“It’s okay now, thanks.” He plays along, knowing all of them would be screwed if he didn’t. “I have to get to class now.” 

“Of course, I didn’t know you were friends with them, keep a good eye on them alright? Feel better soon.” The discipline teacher leaves with Jeongin with a firm pat on the back. 

Once he’s gone, he hears sniggering from behind him. 

“Well, well, how lucky.” Mina chuckles, and Jeongin hopes it isn’t to poke fun at him. 

“Yeah, good thing it was a teacher’s pet.” Another boy says, and Jeongin has no idea who he was, although he looks vaguely familiar. It’s not like he was paying much attention to him anyway. He’ll find out later he tells himself. 

“You guys go to class first, I wanna talk to this kid.” Hyunjin says, and Jeongin turns to look at him with wide, curious eyes. He feels a little scared to be honest, and he prays that the other doesn’t want to beat him up. 

“Eh, why?” Mina sings. “You like him or something?” 

“Not really, now shoo.” 

Mina pokes her tongue out but she takes her leave with the other boy, who’s eyes bulge out when she slings an arm around him. Both Hyunjin and Jeongin laugh at the sight. 

Then silence befalls them. Jeongin looks at Hyunjin who simply shrugs and follows him down the stairs. 

“I recognise you now.” Jeongin says as the walk past the stairs and across the hall. “You’re that boy from church right?” 

“I don’t go to church.” 

“I meant you’re that guy who loiters around that area. Right?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I know you are, my parents always talk about you. Your hair used to be blond right?” 

“Yeah, but the school made me dye it back once summer ended. I had to do it last weekend.” 

“It’s literally the middle of November.” 

“Uh huh, so?” 

“Nothing.” Jeongin mumbles. “I think black hair suits you more anyway, you look nice.” 

Hyunjin laughs. “Really? Alright.” 

“Yeah, I couldn’t recognise you back there. If you ever wanted to run away, I think all you need to do is dye your hair.” 

“Why would I need to run away?” 

“I only said if you wanted to. I never said you needed to.”

“Hey Jeongin, you’re that guy who does choir for those people at church right?” 

“Yeah! Um, yeah, I do.” Jeongin smiles. “You recognized me?” 

“Uh, kind of? Hyunjin shrugs again.  “We don’t really know each other that well to begin with anyway.” 

Then they’re silent again, but somehow, it feels a little less awkward. Hyunjin was right, they didn’t know each other very well at all. Jeongin only knew who he was since last year, when his father first started complaining about him. 

“Why’d you follow me here?” Jeongin says, just as they reach the gymnasium. 

“I wanted to skip class.” 

“That’s fair.” 

“Mm.” Hyunjin pushes him forward, and winks. 

The other students are already playing with each other, loud noises coming from inside. 

“See you on Sunday I guess.” 

“Sure?” Jeongin doesn’t know what he means by that, but he goes along with it. Going with the flow, he tends to do that a lot. 

Jeongin walks in to which he is scolded by the coach for being late, and reasonably so. When he’s finished getting his ears nagged off, Seungmin comes rushing up to him. 

“You took forever, I thought you weren’t coming!” Seungmin whines. “And what were you doing with Hwang Hyunjin of all people? Did you do something bad?” 

“No, of course I didn’t. I didn’t recognize him until we were almost here anyway.” 

“How? Are you blind?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I can’t believe it, your parents would kill you.” Seungmin leans in closer. “Isn’t he like... infamous for being, like you know... a delinquent?” 

“Yeah, probably. I don’t know.” 

-

When Jeongin reaches home, he sees both his parents sitting on the couch, his father reading the newspaper and his mother watching something on the television. 

They greet him and he returns the action, then he retreats into his room, where he’ll do his homework, study, and play games on phone. Just typical teenage boy things. 

When he finishes his homework, he decides to take a shower, and examines his torso. The bluish purple bruise that had been there a few days ago was already fading into pale yellowish purple sort of colour. It still felt tender though, he winced as he pressed down on it experimentally. 

Those assholes were probably the ones who scribbled profanities onto his desk this morning as well. He hopes that Seungmin managed to wipe it off properly. He smiles, he was glad for a friend like him, even if the other couldn’t do anything about the bullying, Seungmin was always spewing words of encouragement and promising one day he’ll take care of them. It was unlikely, but he appreciated it nonetheless. 

Then came dinner time. He sat with his parents, he closed his eyes as they said their graces and ate in comfortable silence. His parents asked him about his day, where he gave his usual, short answer of “good”, skipping over the dirty table and the interaction with Hyunjin. 

Jeongin proceeds to ask his mother about her own, where she told a grand, and probably exaggerated version of what the other couple down the road did. 

His father chuckles along, before asking Jeongin about any upcoming tests or exams. When he says there are none, his father nods curtly while his mother tells him to go easy about his academics, which he’s thankful for. 

-

The next day was a Saturday, which means Jeongin has to go to choir practice. He actually quite likes it, mostly because he enjoys singing. 

Only his mother is up at this time, who bids him goodbye after failing to get him to eat breakfast. 

The church isn’t a far walk from his house, as is anything in this town. He’s still surprised when he sees Hyunjin of all people loitering around the area. 

Their eyes meet and a cloud of smoke comes out of Hyunjin’s mouth. 

“Hey.” 

Jeongin huffs out a breath of laughter. “I thought we would see each other on Sunday?” 

Hyunjin shrugs, and Jeongin finds that he tends to do that a lot. “I guess not.” 

“What are you here for anyway? Choke the elderly with your smoke?” 

“Ha ha, very funny.” He says dryly. “You should try it.” 

“The vape?” Jeongin swipes his hands in the air to emphasise his point. “Nah, I’m good.” 

“It’s strawberry flavoured.” 

“It’s what?” 

Hyunjin looks smug as his laughs. “Yeah... sounds good right?” 

“Well...” Jeongin thought about it, yeah it would probably disappoint his parents and everyone else around him, but on the other hand, it wouldn’t hurt to try, the strawberry sounded and smelled very tempting. “Alright, just a little.” 

He takes a seat next to Hyunjin and looks around, making sure nobody was around to see him, before he attempts sucking on the small, gray tube. 

He sucks hard, but nothing comes out. Hyunjin giggles at his feeble attempts. 

“You gotta press that little button there.” Hyunjin holds a hand over his, and presses down. Then there’s smoke in his mouth, it’s warm and his tongue started to burn a little bit, so he pulls away, coughing out a mixture of spit and strawberry flavoured smoke. It did taste nice, he had to admit. 

“It’s good, but I feel like it’s suffocating me.” Jeongin pushes the vape away into Hyunjin’s delicate hands. “No more!” 

“It’s fine, you’ll get better at it with time.” 

“Okay, like I’m gonna do it aga- wait, what time is it again?” 

“Um, check your phone, why?” 

Jeongin stares down at his phone with mortification. “You know what? I gotta dip, I’m late!” 

“Uh, sure see ya.” 

“Bye bye!”

Jeongin leaps up and sprints the rest of the way to the church, and he arrives nearly twenty minutes late. 

The choir director is a little surprised. “You’re almost never late, what happened?” 

“I’m so sorry, I accidentally woke up late.” He lies, but it’s not like he can just tell the entire room that he was vaping with the town’s most hated teenager. Or at least Jeongin thought that he was - he’s overheard his parents and his neighbours talk about him with disdain, then going off to say how good Jeongin was, and praise him with how well behaved he was. 

His good boy reputation seems to be working in his favour, as both the discipline teacher and the choir director believe anything that comes out of his mouth. 

“It’s alright, but don’t do it again. Join the others.” 

“Yes.” 

Then he stands, along with all the other choir kids, and they sing. He loves singing, he likes doing choir. His eyes accidentally meets Seungmin’s, who can’t hide the mischievous grin off his face. He knows he’s going to be interrogated like mad later. He can feel it. 

After practice, everyone is on their way home and Seungmin practically glues himself onto Jeongin once it was over and they were out of the building. 

He waggles his eyebrows. “So, what happened?” 

“Literally have no idea what you’re insinuating.” Jeongin tries brushing it off, even if he has a feeling it won’t work. 

It doesn’t. 

“Well, glad you asked.” Seungmin says pointedly. “Firstly, you smell like middle school bathroom. Secondly, I know you didn’t wake up late because you texted me early this morning and I saw you leave the house before me.” 

“That last point was kind of cree-“ 

“Shut up, that doesn’t matter. What were you doing?” 

Jeongin isn’t sure if he should tell the truth or not, but then again, it was only Seungmin. He never judged and was rather accepting of most things, despite the fact that he was quite religious, like basically everyone else in this town and unlike Jeongin who doubted whether or not he really was. He just went to church only to be part of the choir group at this point. 

Whatever, he’ll just be honest. “I was with Hwang Hyunjin. He was loitering around somewhere and we met by chance.”

Well, he told most of the truth. 

“Really? You hung out with him again?” Seungmin mused, looking amazed. “You guys are friends or something now?” 

“Eh, I don’t know. We’re kind of like... just talking.” 

“Uh huh, cool. Just remember who has been your best friend since you were like ten.” 

Jeongin laughs, pulling Seungmin into a headlock. “I will never forget you, Minnie! I love you!” 

“Bleurgh!” 

-

The next day was a Sunday. That meant the family went to mass together, in their best clothes. Jeongin wore a collared shirt underneath a dark green sweater and a pair of brown trousers that his mother forced him into. He felt like he looked like a fool, and rather old fashioned, but he couldn’t do anything about it. 

His mother simply pinched his cheeks, insisting that he looked adorable. He just smiled back, unwilling to fight back. 

Next time he would be able to persuade her to let him leave in normal jeans and a T-shirt, or at least a sweater. 

As they walk together on their way to the church, with Jeongin and his mother locking arms and his father not too far in front of them, they run into Hyunjin, who’s sitting on top of a wall, using that vape again. 

His father looks up, and glares at him looking annoyed. He grumbles about something to do with “kids these days” or somewhere along those lines. 

When his mother isn’t looking, Hyunjin manages to sneak in a wink, silently mouthing the word “you look cute” at him, and Jeongin stares back up at him, stifling a laugh. 

“Ah, it’s a good thing you’re not like that damn Hwang Hyunjin fella.” 

His father tells him, just as they sit down on their seats, somewhere in the middle. Every so often, his father will complain about other kids in the area, and how they’re all destined for failure, but his favourite to shit on was Hyunjin. It was kind of annoying, because each time he does it, it feels like his father’s expectations begin to rise. 

“He’s always smoking that stupid metal thing, and he’s got nail polish on. What kind of man wears that blasted stuff. He looks like a poof.”

“It’s a vape.” 

“Pardon?” 

“That metal thing he smokes, it’s a vape.” 

“Uh, okay, he smokes the vape, whatever, it’s still disgusting. What a sinful child.” 

Jeongin nods, becoming silent. Maybe sharing his newfound knowledge on vapes wasn’t the best thing to do around his father. 

“I feel bad for his family.” His mother chimes in softly, attempting to empathize with her husband. 

“Hmph, they’re probably just like him, a bunch of careless assholes.” He says dismissively. 

"Not really, you must know Jinyoung? That's his older brother. I did hear that their mother was sort of, how shall I put it..?"

"A useless parent?" His father grunts.

"Well, you could put it that way. Their mother only came back a few years ago I think."

Later that night, well past dinner time and his bed time, he’s still awake, just thinking. 

His father’s words play over in his head. 

_ He’s got nail polish on. What kind of man wears that blasted stuff? He looks like a poof.  _

It’s not the first time he’s said things like that. Jeongin believes that he wasn’t so prejudiced against men in nail polish, more than he was blinded by his hatred of reckless, misbehaving children like Hyunjin. 

Does that mean if Jeongin wore nail polish, his dad would look down at him? Wasn’t wearing nail polish cute and trendy anyway? It’s not like the school allowed it in the first place, but he’s curious now. He wants to test it out. 

And why would his father say words like poof? He didn’t really hate gays did he? Jeongin knew he didn’t, and was very much questioning himself on his sexuality. It wasn’t something he could talk to his parents about, but the internet and Seungmin were his best friends, who both told him it was perfectly okay. He’s even seen a lot of gay and lesbians Christians, and that made him feel a little better. 

He tries testing the waters during breakfast, just before his father goes off to work and he goes to school. 

“Hey, dad.” Jeongin begins, and when he turns to look at him, he continues. “What do you think of gay people?” 

His mother pauses for a moment, before continuing to wash whatever was in the sink. His father nearly spat out his coffee. 

“Why’d you ask?” 

“Um, no reason. Um, a singer I like happens to be gay.” Jeongin manages to spit out. 

“Oh, well, my honest opinion is that it’s a sin against god and everything Christianity stands for.” 

“Oh.” 

“You know that it is unnatural, and not that I personally have a problem against it, just that I don’t agree with the lifestyle.” 

“Uh huh, I see.” 

“You understand right? You know that being gay is a sin.” 

“Yeah. I understand.” 

With that Jeongin falls silent. He isn’t sure what to make of his father’s words. Jeongin wasn’t one to discriminate, hell even he found a lot of boys attractive, but everything his parents and the church says seems to disagree entirely. 

Was it really such a sin, just to love somebody? 

Would they hate him if he told them he liked boys too? 

“Stop chewing your nails!” His mother smacks him softly on the head with a wet cloth. It snaps him straight out of his thoughts but the unease still remained. 

-

At school, he’s pleasantly surprised to find that his desk was squeaky clean. Seungmin did a good job at cleaning it. 

There’s another surprise in store at school that day too. There’s an extra desk in the class, right in front of him, and it belonged to none other than Hwang Hyunjin. 

He and Seungmin both looked at each other, both as confused when Hyunjin takes a seat like it’s nothing. 

Then their homeroom teacher comes in and explains everything. 

“Class, Hwang Hyunjin here has been moved from class A to class B to combat all the mischief he has made over there. Take care of him well alright.” 

Hyunjin stands up and saunters over to the front of the class. He introduces himself and greets the students, looking as casual and graceful as ever. It feels like he was looking straight at Jeongin, and it warmed his face. 

What an unusual twist of fate. Was this coincidence, destiny, fate?

During break time, the usual group of boys who go over and bully Jeongin every so often come around to his desk. This used to be a common occurrence but due to Seungmin’s habit of being feisty and protective, the numbers dwindled. 

“Hey, Yang Jeongin.” The boy says, looking smug. “What happened to the message on your desk? I wrote that lovingly you know?” 

“Calling him a fag doesn’t sound very nice at all, fuckface.” Seungmin snaps, answering before Jeongin can think of what to say. 

“Pipe down asshole, or do you want a taste of what this fag’s been getting?” 

Seungmin quietens down after that. He doesn’t blame him. 

“So? A little birdy’s been telling me you’re some alter boy now?” 

“I’ve been in the choir for my whole life dumbass.” 

“How’s it feel when the priests touch you do-“ He doesn’t finish his sentence, because a hard punch comes flying into his face. Jeongin looks up, Hyunjin’s standing over the bully, his knuckles already looking red. 

“Hyunjin, don’t.” Jeongin leaps up and attempts to pull him away, before any more damage could be caused to the boy coughing his lungs out on the floor. 

“What the fuck is your problem!” He yells, sniffling as his nose begins to bleed. “Protecting your boyfriend or something?” 

Hyunjin raises his fist, Jeongin manages to pull it down. “Don’t. Just leave him.” 

“Get up and stop crying like a pussy or I’ll destroy you. Eat shit.” Hyunjin deadpans, and the bully simply stands up, and walks away, along with his gang. 

Seungmin is still in his seat, looking like he’s just gotten the shock of his life. “Woah.” He lets out a slow, long whistle. 

-

Over the next few days, Jeongin hasn’t seen that bully at all. If they accidentally cross paths or make eye contact, even if they don’t do anything, the bully runs away, avoiding him at all costs. 

Looks like Hyunjin’s really scared him, or maybe it was humiliation, as he got smashed right in the middle of the classroom. 

It doesn’t matter, Jeongin’s life has been made a little bit easier, and his spirit’s been higher than ever. 

Even his classmates began acknowledging him, and offering to actually do their parts in cleaning up the classroom after school. 

It felt a little strange at first, almost as if he were dreaming it all out, but like usual, he didn’t question it. He just went with the flow, and let it happen. 

Even Seungmin and his parents have noticed, complementing him on how his face seems to be glowing lately. 

Though during these few days, he’s barely talked to Hyunjin at all. Perhaps it was because they didn’t really have a reason to, but Jeongin found himself drawn to him, and wanted to spend more and more time with him. It was hard to explain, and even tougher to comprehend, but it is what it is. 

Finally, on Friday, when he goes up to the bathrooms on the very last floor, he trips over the last stairs and someone begins to laugh. He looks up to see Hyunjin and Mina up there, smoking cigarettes. 

Suddenly a thought flashes by his mind, were Hyunjin and Mina together? Romantically? 

“Again? Be careful Jeongin-ah.” Mina giggles, and suddenly she’s breezing past him down the stairs. 

It’s just the two of them alone. Something that makes him very nervous and very excited at the same time. 

“Hi.” He breathes out. 

Hyunjin helps him up, muttering something to himself about Jeongin being too clumsy. He notices the red and black nail polish on his fingers. 

“You’re not gonna take so long right? Wait a second, we’re in the same class now, where’s your gym clothes? We’re gonna play dodge ball today.” 

“Eh, I didn’t bring em.” Hyunjin shrugs. “Did our classmates tell you what’s for PE?” 

“Hyunjin~ You should join! It’ll be fun, uh but yeah, they did.” 

“I really don’t have my gym clothes though. I forgot.” 

“That’s a pity, I guess you can’t play in your unifo- eh? What are you doing?” 

“Hm? Refilling my vape.” 

“You should wait outside during lessons though.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Jeongin, since when have I followed the rules?” 

“Well, you must have, at least for some time.” 

“Yeah, I guess. This is pineapple flavour if you wanna try.” 

“Ooh, really? How do they have so many flavours?” He leans in, eyes sparkling. “I really like your nails.” He murmurs. 

“The nails that your dad shat on? Thanks.” 

“Ugh, don’t listen to him, he’s kind of ignorant sometimes. He just thinks that you’re a delinquent.” 

“Meh, well he’s not that wrong.” Hyunjin sighs. “You wanna try it?” 

“The vape?” 

“The nail polish.” 

“Oh.” Jeongin says, feeling a little dumb. “I think I’d better not.” 

“Why? Is it cause your daddy’s gonna get mad?” 

Jeongin scoffs. “Shut up, it’s not funny.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” 

“Oh shit, Hyunjin! We’re gonna be late! Wait for me I’m gonna change.” 

-

In the end, he somehow managed to persuade Hyunjin to ditch his nicotine addiction and come down to the field with him, where the class was in the middle of warming up. Once again, he catches Seungmin giving him a shit eating grin. 

The coach pulls the two of them by their collars before they can sneak past him. 

“Why are the two of you late? Especially you Jeongin, you’ve always been punctual.” 

“He had a stomachache.” 

“He had a stomachache.” 

Jeongin and Hyunjin share a split second of panic. Their coach quirks an eyebrow up at them. He’s about to say something when there’s a loud yelp from behind them. 

Everyone turns to look at Seungmin and the school bully, who’s clutching his stomach. 

Seungmin chuckles. “Uh oh, I think it might be a stomachache. Are you o- Ugh!” 

He gets hit across the torso, choking on his words. 

The coach blows his whistle at them. “You two! Stop fooling around, continue your warm ups. Jeongin, Hyunjin, join the others in the circle.” 

Jeongin is actually going to bow down on his knees and thank Seungmin for being the best person alive. 

-

The next day, it was Saturday again. Jeongin was on his way to choir practice and he sees Hyunjin and Mina sitting next to each other, along with another boy, who he thinks is one of their friends, who was by the bathrooms vaping with them. 

He looks a little closer, thinking he looks a little bit familiar. Finally after putting it off and forgetting it for a while, he recognizes the boy with glasses, smoking with the rest of the delinquents. 

“Mark..? Mark Lee?” 

Mina raises her eyebrows and makes a noise of curiosity. “You guys know each other?” 

“Yeah... you’re that guy who does choir right?” 

“Yep. I guess I’ve seen you in church or something. What’re doing vaping and shit.” 

Mark giggles nervously. “Hey man, lemme live a little. Just don’t tell my parents.” 

“Okay, sure.” 

“Oh, Jeongin, you should try this vape, the pineapple tastes like candy.” 

“Oh okay, it tasted nice the last time, why not.” 

He takes the little gray thing between his fingers, manages to press the button and he sucks on it, then blows all the air out, smiling at the the smoke. 

“Aw man, you gotta inhale that shit bro.” Mark whines. 

Jeongin pokes his tongue out. “You know, you’re the last person I expected to do this. My mum said that you had the top grades in Sunday school.” 

“That was like middle school dude. I’m a changed man.” 

Mina chortles. “Yeah right, you’re still a fucking loser.” 

Hyunjin laughs. “He’s right, you can’t just spit it all out. Wait, wait, Mina show him the thing.” 

“Eh, what’s the thing?” 

Mina brings out her own vape, a large holographic rainbow cuboid, and she sucks on it for a moment, and when she lets the smoke out, it comes out in circular rings. 

“Woah.” Jeongin’s eyes light up. “I like your vape.” 

Mina looks smug, flicking her over her shoulder. “Yeah, I know. Thanks.” 

“I’m trying to learn, but I’m not quite there yet.” Hyunjin says, pushing a finger inside a ring. 

“Oh! Shit.” Jeongin checks his phone and realizes he’s almost twenty minutes late. “Guys, I really gotta go.” 

“I ride a motorbike you know. Wanna ride, it’ll be quicker.” 

Jeongin nods. “Yes, thank you.” 

-

There’s a strange giddy feeling that washes over him when he clings onto Hyunjin’s lithe waist, sitting close enough to smell cheap pharmacy cologne and artificial pineapple. His dark hair blows in the wind and he’s sure that he looks pretty while concentrating. 

Jeongin’s never rode a motorcycle before, and he enjoys it. It’s a fun experience to say the least. Hyunjin is warm, and he hopes that the other can’t tell just how much he’s leaning into him, trying to hug him as tightly as possible. 

This makes him think, just why he wanted to be around him so much, why he wanted Hyunjin so bad. Then before it can continue, they reach the church. 

Jeongin thanks him, and Hyunjin zips off into the distance. 

-

He gets another scolding from his choir teacher, and another smirk from Seungmin. 

As they walk home, Seungmin tells him to stop hanging out with Hyunjin so much. 

“Not that I don’t want you to, just that you keep coming late. That choir director is so prissy you know.” 

“Yeah, I get it. I’ll stop hanging out with him before then.” 

“You need perfume by the way, you smell of vape so strongly.” 

Jeongin suddenly changes the subject. “Hey, you know Mark Lee right? That kid who always scored the best in Sunday school?” 

“Oh! He’s the smart kid from class B right?” 

“He’s part of Hyunjin’s gang! He smokes like a pro.” 

“No way! Seriously? That twiggy, little twerp?” Seungmin cackles. 

“Yeah! I know right?” 

-

Wednesday is the next time Jeongin and Hyunjin see each other. It’s during lunch and Seungmin wanted to study by himself, distractions free, for the upcoming chemistry test. So Jeongin was left all by himself. Until he accidentally bumps into Hyunjin and nearly falls over. 

Hyunjin holds his stringy ass, bean pole of a body up, surprisingly stronger than he looks being so slim and seeming so delicate. 

“You good? Why are you so clumsy?” 

Jeongin giggles. “Sorry.” 

“Where’s Mina and Mark?” 

“No idea. Since I left that class I can never find them.” Hyunjin shrugs. “Where’s Seungmin.” 

“Studying. He wanted to be left alone.” 

“Oh, what a pity. Looks like we’re both alone.” Hyunjin clicks his tongue. “Wanna come upstairs with me?” 

They walk up the stairs easily, with nobody else to bother them. When the reach the top floor, not even Mina or Mark were hanging around. Weird. 

They sit infront of the door to the boy’s bathroom, where Hyunjin’s got his little gray vape out, and Jeongin can feel the artificial pineapple suffocating him. 

“So, um, why do you vape so much?” Jeongin asks, trying to make conversation. 

“It’s something to avoid cigarettes.” 

“Are vapes better for your health?” 

“Probably.” He shrugs yet again, and Jeongin watches the movement of his shoulders. 

“Hey, Hyunjin. What do you feel about homosexuality, or religion.” 

“Well, I’m bisexual so I think that answers the question pretty well. I’m an atheist, but that’s just how I was raised, just like how you were raised with Christianity.” 

“Oh, okay, thanks.” 

This was new, all this time Jeongin didn’t know what Hyunjin was, but the answer still surprised him anyway. So he liked boys and girls, just like Jeongin did. It was a little exciting, to share such a big thing with someone he knew. 

“Are you questioning?” 

“My religion?” 

“Well yeah, that and your sexuality.” 

“Ah, well... I don’t know... maybe?” Jeongin squints, putting his arms up. “I guess I still believe in god, but I’m not sure if I want to if those kinds of messages are there.” 

“What kind of messages?” 

“That homosexuality is a sin, and stuff like that.” 

“Are you gay, Jeongin.” Hyunjin puts his vape down, shoving it back into his pocket, so he knows this is serious. 

“No, well, I like boys, but I’ve also liked girls before, so somewhere in the middle I guess.” 

“Yeah that’s cool. Not everything needs a label.” Hyunjin gives him a simple thumbs up. “I know I’m not the christian around here, but doesn’t god love everyone? So why not the gay ones?” 

“Yeah, I’ve thought about that before... I don’t know...” 

Hyunjin holds his face between his hand. It’s too warm, and their faces are too close. “You know, sexuality is fluid and natural. There’s nothing wrong with whatever gender you like. In the long run, it’s like, so trivial you know.” 

Their noses are almost touching, he can smell artificial pineapple from Hyunjin’s breath. Much like the smoke, he feels choked up, but depite that, he doesn’t pull away. He likes being close to Hyunjin, he wants to feel every bit of thrilling emotion that comes with this. 

“Thanks.” Is all he can manage to say, his breath literally being taken away. 

“Jeongin...” 

The bell rings. He flinches in surprise and Hyunjin pulls away. He already misses the closeness. 

“We should go to class now, I don’t want to be late again.”

-

On Friday, Jeongin is eating lunch with Seungmin, laughing over something that happened during choir, and then moving onto a field trip back in elementary school where one of their classmates pissed inside a cow farm. 

Then, someone’s next to him, and it’s Hwang Hyunjin. 

“Hey.” He says casually. 

Seungmin gives a small wave, immediately bringing out a book to read, already knowing that he’ll be stuck watching the two fools infront of him be oblivious to the other’s feelings. It was almost unbearable, but Kim Seungmin is a sturdy, unbreakable man. 

“What’s up? Not smoking?” 

“Nah, Mina and Mark are kind of sucking face up there so... I’ve been kicked out.” 

“Aw, lonely? That was my spot before you knows.” 

“Then take it back, please. They’re so gross.” 

Jeongin laughs. “I’ll try one of these days.”

Hyunjin steals some cherry tomatoes and a piece of chicken off his plate. Jeongin makes a sound of annoyance. 

“Why don’t you have your own lunch.” 

“I’m not hungry enough.” 

“I’ll bet it’s the nicotine. Did you know it’s an appetite suppressant. That’s probably why you’re so skinny.” 

“Whatever.” 

“Don’t ‘whatever’ this, it’s serious.” 

“Wanna go out after school today?” Hyunjin suddenly prompts. 

“Ah, I don’t know, my pa-“ 

“I’ll cover for you.” Seungmin suddenly chimes in. 

“Huh? Really?” Jeongin asks, maybe a little too happily. It isn’t his fault that he enjoys Hyunjin’s company. 

“Yeah, definitely. Just bro things you know.” 

“You’re actually the best, you know that?” 

Seungmin smiles proudly. 

-

After school, Jeongin gets to ride Hyunjin’s motorbike again, and he’s excited because one, it’s actually quite fun, and two, it’s an excuse to be close to and cling onto Hyunjin again. 

“Where are we going?” He asks, arms wrapped around his waist. 

“I’m not sure actually, I don’t really take people out on dates.” 

“Oh? It’s a date? Now that’s a game changer.” 

Hyunjin actually squirms in his arms, and Jeongin only gets a small sneak peak of his pink, blushing face.

“Well, not really, it’s not a date... but if you want it to be, it can be.” He mumbles. 

Jeongin chuckles, beginning to feel a little bold. “What if I want it to be a date?” 

Hyunjin smirks at him, turning his head slightly, eyes glazed over with something he doesn’t know. 

“Then it’s a date, congratulations.” 

“What about an amusement park?” 

“What amusement park is open during this time of year?” 

“Ah, you have a point. How about bowling?” Jeongin says. “Hold up, did you ask me out, like for real?” 

“Uh, yeah. Didn’t I say this was a date?” 

“Like a date-date. For real?” 

Hyunjin groans. “For the last time, yes. Unless you don’t feel that way then-“ 

“No, no I do, it’s just that I didn’t know if you felt that way.” 

“Nah, I quite like you. You’re interesting.” 

Jeongin squeals. “Stop that.” 

Hyunjin drives them to the nearest mall, nearly forty five minutes away, and they play a few rounds of bowling. 

It’s the most fun Jeongin’s had in a while, and he likes winning against Hyunjin, furthermore proving his title of bowling champion. 

“Tch, whatever, this thing is just rigged. It’s making me lose on purpose so I spend more money trying to win.” Hyunjin flops onto the floor, after missing again. 

Jeongin grins. “Or maybe you’re just bad, have you never played before? Your form is awful.” 

“Not really, why don’t you teach me if you’re so good at it then.” Hyunjin gets up and picks up another ball. 

“Wait, it’s my turn.” Jeongin stands up and lightly shoves Hyunjin out of the way, and cheers when he gets a strike. 

He looks at him expectantly, and he only scoffs. 

“Yeah, yeah you’re so amazing, your bowling skills make me horny, i love you.” He spits out, voice dry and a little annoyed, and Jeongin is amused. 

“Come on, I’ll teach you. You’ll get better at it with time.” 

He stands behind Hyunjin, hands on his body, twisting and adjusting it so he gets the right form to properly roll his bowling ball. 

“There, now your arm just has to go like this...” Jeongin reaches for his arm and turns it over, and places it behind him, by his side. 

He’s suddenly struck with the realisation that they’re in a really close proximity. He can feel Hyunjin’s body heat radiating off of him, and their bodies are practically touching, Jeongin’s front on his back. 

Again, there’s that feeling that gives him shivers all over and sends sparks shooting down his spine. It makes his heart leap up into his throat, but the warmth that pools in his gut tells him to never stop. 

Eventually, he has to pull away, and he thinks the other has noticed Jeongin’s stuck to him for too long, as he lets out the tiniest snicker, his lips quivering. 

He takes a few steps back, and then forward, sending the ball with him, and he manages to knock down eight pins, the best that Hyunjin’s managed to do so far. 

Jeongin claps, and Hyunjin explodes into a fit of cheers and laughter, jumping up and down. 

“Boom! Who’s a bowling legend now!” 

“You still haven’t gotten a strike yet though, I have thr-“ 

Hyunjin takes one of his long fingers and presses against Jeongin’s lips. He almost stops breathing. 

“That’s better. Don’t talk and let me have my moment.”

“I... yeah, okay.” Jeongin stutters out. 

After the whole bowling fiasco, they try to find something to eat, and they settle on some hamburger place with a fifty’s themed aesthetic. 

“Bleugh, I hate onions.” Hyunjin grumbles, picking at his food. 

Jeongin frowns. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“I’m not actually that hungry, can we take this away.” 

“Hyunjin, eat. Stop smoking then.” 

“I ate a lot this morning though.” He pouts. 

Jeongin likes this somewhat cute side of Hyunjin however, he just sighs. “Do whatever then.” 

“Hey, Hyunjin. How come you always do bad things at school when you’re actually pretty good.” 

Hyunjin shrugs. “I started acting out some time ago, then everyone got this impression of me, so I kept it up.” 

“Is it because of your mother?” Jeongin winced as he asked. He’s heard many people including his and Seungmin’s mothers talk about it before - the story of Hyunjin’s mum finally coming back after abandoning him and his brother. It had been nearly two years since then. 

“Maybe. My brother was kind of controlling on me and because I was childish I rebelled. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten a stroke yet. That whole situation was really stressful on him.” 

“Uh huh, anything else?” He probes. 

“Well, he left for the military once my mum came back and because she was like guilty or something she went easy on me, so I kind of went crazy for a bit.” 

“Yeah, I know. Many, many stories about Hwang Hyunjin were told, you know?” Jeongin smiles. “Where’s your brother now anyway?” 

“Working. He’s in Seoul.” 

“Well, glad you guys are okay now. Thanks for being, like, open about it.” 

Hyunjin pouts. “Meh. It’s all good. Open communication, I tell you, you tell me, it makes for a healthy relationship, you know.” 

“Yeah.” 

Then his phone rings. It was from Seungmin. 

“Hello?” 

“Yo, Jeongin, you better come home now. Your mum just called me and I said you’ll be back in like half an hour. Tell her that you just studied in my room and- Hey! Fuck off.” 

Then the call suddenly ends, and Jeongin doesn’t really know what happened. Ah Seungmin reminded him that he should ask him about what he’s doing with Jisung. He’s not really mad, more curious than anything. 

“What’s up?” Hyunjin asks, taking a sip of his soda. 

“We’ll have to get this takeaway. I have to be home in thirty. 

“Well, good thing for you that I am a fast driver.”

“Illegally fast?” 

Hyunjin grins. “Sometimes.” 

-

Hyunjin manages to get Jeongin home in thirty five minutes, and they nearly crash into his mailbox. 

“Hyu-“ He nearly shouts but he shuts himself up in time. “Be careful, will you?” 

Hyunjin laughs breathily, holding up his bike. “I’m sorry, are you okay.” 

He twiddles with Jeongin’s hair, brushing it out of his face. 

Suddenly, he’s breathless again. “I’m fine.” 

Then, Hyunjin’s hands trail away from his fringe and onto his jaw, holding it tenderly. 

“Jeongin... Can I..?” 

He already feels his lips pucker up, and in this moment, a million thoughts are racing through his mind. 

_ Does he like Hyunjin? Does he like him like that? Does Hyunjin even like him? Why are they kissing? Are they even going to? What does this all mean?  _

“Can I have your number?” 

Jeongin’s mind almost explodes. He groans and hits Hyunjin, with a little force, missing and barely swiping past his face. 

Hyunjin dodges another throw. “Hey! What’s that for?” 

“Shush! Quiet down!” He hisses. 

“You don’t want my number?” 

“I do, it’s just that... I...” 

Hyunjin’s nose touches his, his hand back on his jaw. “You thought what? You thought you were gonna do this?” 

Hyunjin places a small peck on his lips, and already he’s in euphoria. It feels like a fever dream, like he has to pinch himself awake. 

As quickly as he does it, he pulls away, leaving Jeongin craving for more. 

He’s about to lean down, when suddenly they both hear the front door creak open. 

Jeongin nearly freezes and Hyunjin’s eyes are wide and brimmed with a smidge of fear. 

“Play along.” He hisses and shoves him out of his front yard. 

“Jeongin!” His father booms. “What’s that damn Hwang Hyunjin doing here!” 

“I-I don’t know, he’s bothering me!” 

Hyunjin furrows his eyebrows at him, giving him a confused glare. 

“Play along!” He mouths at him, before shoving him even more and closing the gate. 

“Go away... you... pest!” Jeongin yells, making sure his father hear. 

Then softly he whispers. “Hyunjin I’m sorry I actually really like you but please go, I don’t want my dad to kill you.” 

Hyunjin nods. “I understand. See ya.” 

Then he hops back onto his motorbike and drives off into the distance. 

Jeongin sees his father walk over to him. 

“That punk’s been bothering you? For how long?” 

“Oh, just today. I don’t know what he’s doing.” 

“Ah, for a second there I thought you two were hanging out or something. I was by the window when he got all up in your face or something.” He chuckles. “Dang, I thought something strange was happening.” 

Jeongin laughs along with him, but he feels his heart sink into his stomach. 

It hurts. It hurts a lot. For a moment he almost wished that he was " _n_ _ormal_."

_ Normal.  _

Jeongin already was. He was just surrounded by ignorance. It definitely didn’t feel bad to call his father that. He almost wants to wear nail polish now, maybe just shove his so-called “abnormality” in his face. 

Whatever, he’ll just see how things go, like he always does. 

-

On Saturday evening, just after Jeongin finishes his dinner and tells his parents he’s going to finish up his homework, he gets the shock of his life when Hyunjin is sitting right by his window. 

He literally falls onto the ground, his knees giving out. 

Hyunjin knocks on the glass lightly, and eventually, Jeongin regains the strength to stand and opens the window, where Hyunjin falls onto his floor with a thud. 

“Be quiet!” He hisses. “And what the hell are you doing here? You can’t just climb up my window! If my parents saw you, you’d be dead!” 

Hyunjin places a hand on his shoulder, and shushes him, his breath tingling his ear and making him shiver. Hyunjin feels it and he laughs softly, with a grin across his face. 

Jeongin just pouts. “Well, you can’t stay the ni-“ 

There’s knocking on his door. 

“Jeongin? Can I come in?” 

Panic and terror sets in. 

“Just one second! I’m changing.” 

Jeongin takes a look at his bed, his bathroom and his closet. He opens his bathroom door and shoves Hyunjin in, who has no choice but to comply. 

“Just stay put in there, and make no noise.” He hisses and softly shuts the door. Then he takes off his shirt and puts on another one, and then finally lets his mother in. 

“Yeah? What is it?” 

“Oh no, nothing much.” She says as she walks in and sits on the bed. “Why’s the window open?” 

“Just felt like getting some fresh air in.” He lies on the spot, but he only feels a little bit bad about it. 

“Um, okay. Well anyway, I just came in to remind you that next Friday and Saturday the church’s doing that charity thing. Then two weeks after that we have to go for Christmas prayers and have dinner with the rest of the family.” 

“Ah, yeah, I remember.”

“Alright, just making sure. Your grandparents will be coming over as well as your uncle.” 

“Mm, okay.” 

“You’ll be singing for both of those events right?” 

“Yeah, I will.” 

“Okay, great then. I’m sure it’ll be fun when the time comes. Your father and I will be downstairs if you need us.” 

“Yes, see you, good night mum.” 

She smiles kindly at him, like the wonderful woman that she was, as she closes the door softly behind her. Sometimes he wonders how she married someone like his father. He wasn’t hating on his dad, but the two sure were different. 

When he’s sure she’s gone, he locks his bedroom door and lets Hyunjin out of the bathroom, who had just begun to vape while sitting on his toilet seat. 

“Hyunjin!” He hisses, for what seems to be the millionth time that day. “You can’t, what will my parents say about the smell? Can’t you curb you addiction for like, however long you’re gonna stay here?” 

Frantically, he takes the closest object to him, which was a bottle of spray on deodorant, and he sprays that motherfucker like crazy, covering the whole bathroom with the manly smell of electric purple, active dry. 

Hyunjin flops onto Jeongin’s bed, spreading his legs and he beckons for him to come over. 

Jeongin slowly walks over, standing over Hyunjin, a little awkwardly, unsure of what to do. 

Hyunjin sniggers, and pulls him down, until he’s sitting on his lap, facing his pretty face. It’s almost too much, and he’s overcome with the urge to kiss his plump lips and have them pressed onto him  again. 

"Your braces are pretty. They make you look cute." 

“What are we? What are we doing?” Jeongin asks, repeating those words. 

“I don’t know. Do we need a label?” Hyunjin repeats his own words. 

“I just don’t want all of this to be meaningless to you.” Jeongin whispers, and he feels Hyunjin hold onto his hand and gives a firm squeeze. Hyunjin’s hands were smaller and daintier than his, lighter and more delicate, but they leave impressions of warmth and feeling wherever they touch. They feel heavy on him. 

“Trust me, it’s not. I’m just waiting until you’re ready.” Hyunjin tells him, lips brushing against his chin. 

“Ready for what?” 

“For whatever.” 

“What if I just want you?” His eyes are wide and staring straight back at Hyunjin. He thinks they’re wavering, but he doesn’t know. 

Hyunjin smiles playfully, looking amused, which is an indication that Jeongin probably looks nervous. 

“Then have me.” 

“Hyunjin...” 

“Hey, Jeongin.” Hyunjin pulls away for a moment. “Why didn’t you talk to me earlier? Were you avoiding me?” 

“Huh? Because I was running late. My choir director is kind of strict. I didn’t have time to sit with you like usual.” 

“Oh okay.” 

Jeongin laughs. “What? Did you miss me? Were you jealous of something?” 

“Hush.”

That’s all he says before kisses Jeongin, and he returns it, completely losing himself to the sensation. 

-

As if his life couldn’t get any weirder, Jeongin definitely receives the shock of his life the next day, while he and his family were sitting during mass. 

He and his parents had passed by Mark, to whom he gave a little nod of acknowledgement to. The gesture was reciprocated. 

“Oh, are you still friends with that Mark Lee boy?” His mother watches the exchange, happy at the fact that Jeongin had more than one friend. 

“Pretty much, but we’re in different classes.” 

“Oh what a pity, he’s such a lovely child.” 

Jeongin wants to laugh, oh if only his poor mother knew. 

But that wasn’t the weird part. 

It only went crazy when the priest was up there on the stage and introduced a very familiar face. 

“Hello everyone, this is our new member, Han Jisung, and he’s joined in hopes of ridding himself of a great sin, homosexuality.” 

Han Jisung, was the class bully that tormented Jeongin for most of high school and middle school, who called him names, excluded him from all activities and beat him up behind the building after school. 

Now he was standing up on stage, and when their eyes meet, Jisung probably looks even more scared than he does. 

After service is over, Jeongin tells his parents that he needs the bathroom and to wait for him in the car. 

They do that, and Jeongin instantly finds Jisung sitting by himself on one of the front row seats. 

He doesn’t know what overcomes him, but suddenly, he feels like he’s able to talk to him, even after all that’s happened. 

“Hey.” 

Jisung ignores him, turning his head in the other direction. 

“Jisung. Han Jisung... huh, so that was your name...” The rest of the sentence is mostly just soft muttering to himself as he slowly came to the realization, but Jisung hears it. 

“You didn’t know my name this entire time?” 

“... Sorry.” 

“Man, what the fuck?” 

Jeongin laughs. “I’m sorry.” 

“What... fucking christ dude, we’ve known each other since like, middle school.” 

“I didn’t take you as the type to be gay.” 

Jisung scoffs. “I’m not actually gay, my parents just found my search history and freaked out. I almost got sent to a legit conversion therapy.” 

“There’s more you’re not telling me.” 

“What? Hey, calm down will you? Since when were we talking like friends?” 

“Anyone who comes to this church is a friend of mine.” 

“But... But last time... all the stuff that I di-“ 

“It’s okay, forgiving is the best thing you can do... you are apologizing, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah, I might as well. I... I don’t know why I did it, I guess... you...” 

Jeongin listens intently, nodding when Jisung trails off into nothing. “Mm hmm... keep going.” 

“I was scared of my feelings and I took it out on you, well other people too but mostly you.”

“What feelings?” 

“Of homosexuality. But then once that bastard Hwang Hyunjin nearly broke my entire rib cage and told the rest of the class not to even look at you the wrong way, I’ve had to stop.” 

“Eh? He did that, for me?” Jeongin is only able to pick out that point of the story, and if it were true, he’s growing happy, a weird but pleasant swirling in his chest. 

“Yeah, nobody else wanted to eat grass like I did, so people just stopped... hating on you... I guess? I dunno, did people hate you?” 

“They only stayed away from me because they didn’t want to become your target. Except for Seungmin because he’s not afraid of you.” 

“Ugh, that bastard Kim Seungmin, he’s so annoying.” 

“But he’s not really, is he?” 

Jisung scoffs. “He’s a nightmare. He has no filter, he hits me whenever he likes, he forces me to eat everything off my lunch tray, even the shitty peppers that I don’t like and he sho- yeah, okay that’s all.” 

“Since when did you get to know Seungmin so well?” 

Jisung squints. “Huh, you didn’t know, he became my tutor like last week.” 

“No... I didn’t.” Jeongin didn’t know what to say. It’s not like Seungmin would deliberately  not  tell him. Tutoring some stupid ex-bully wasn’t really something so secretive, right? 

“I just can’t wrap my head around it, you’re gay?” 

“I told you, I was suppressing and taking out my feelings on you.” 

“Wow, It’s just a little unbelievable. A gay person who still uses the F-slur and all that jazz. You know there’s nothing wrong with being gay right?” 

“Shut up, homosexuality is a sin. Fags are disgusting. And I’m not fucking gay, I’ve just been stirred up by immoral thoughts. I’ll find my way out of this.” 

“I’m being serious though, it’s perfectly normal to like boys or girls or both. You’ll feel better once you simply accept it. I know I did.” Jeongin gets up, as he remembers that his parents were still waiting for him outside and he wouldn’t want to waste too much of their time. “See you around Jisung, I hope you feel better soon.” 

“Wait.” 

Jeongin turns around. “Hm?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Jeongin walks away, and Jisung lets him, watching him go with wide eyes and an unreadable expression. 

-

“Seungmin!” 

Jeongin goes over to his house on Tuesday, after school. 

“You would not believe it, the one day you missed church.” 

Seungmin leans in, curious. “What? Tell me?” 

“Han Jisung is attending now, to rid his mind of the homosexual demons that plague it.” He says, pitching his voice all low and scary, like how the pastor and everyone else thought it was. 

“No, seriously? That asshole?” 

“That asshole that you were tutoring, yeah.” 

Seungmin’s face falls. “Oh, oh no, Jeongin please don’t be mad. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was basically forced into it and I know he was your bully so I-“ 

“Hey, dude, it’s fine. I was just curious why, and how this happened. That’s all.” Jeongin says calmly, breaking Seungmin out of his mini panic. 

“It was just because I knew he was your bully, so I didn’t want you to think I was getting friendly with him or something.” 

“Ah, I get it. It’s fine. I think we’re buddies now.” 

Seungmin frowns. “Huh? Really? You forgave him?” 

“Well, not really, but he hasn’t bullied me in a while, and someone has to be the kind person.” Jeongin muses. “Plus I think that he’s definitely into men, even if he’s in self denial. That kind of internalized hated, it’s not healthy.” 

“He’ll never get better if he’s stuck in that place though.” 

“I know. The last time he came over, I even tried showing him a bunch of gay movies.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Cause he was complaining about gay people and how they were disgusting and a sin against romance so I showed him some, to show that they could be romantic.” 

“Uh huh... that’s one way to do it. I don’t think it worked very well though.” 

“Meh, whatever, I gave him a list and told him to watch it at home. We only got through half of Where Your Eyes Linger, before I got tired of his fake retching noises.” 

-

Friday. 

The church’s annual charity event was currently being held. 

Along with Jeongin and Seungmin, and all the other choir kids. There was most of the local community. Both their parents were somewhere talking to the pastor. 

Jisung walks in, and Seungmin smiles with glee. 

“Oh, so it is true! How’s “conversion” therapy going for you?” 

“This place kinda sucks, low-key.” Jisung says, then traps Seungmin in a choke hold. “You piece of shit, it’s all because of you I’m stuck here!” 

Seungmin heaves and wheezes, and Jeongin is almost worried for his life. “Not my fault, ack, you liked it.” He manages to grunt out. 

Then, suddenly Hyunjin appears in his line of vision, a few people already starting to turn their heads at him. 

“Hey.” He says, thumbs in his pockets. 

“Oh, hey.” Jeongin smiles and Seungmin gives Hyunjin a pleading look. Jisung loosens the grip around his neck. 

“Oh, it’s you. How are you Han Jisung? Your nose still hurts?” Hyunjin grins, and Jisung’s fists clench. 

“Hyunjin, stop it.” 

“I’ll tear you to shreds.” Jisung grumbles. 

Hyunjin chuckles. “I’d like to see you try.” 

Seungmin hits Jisung on the back of his head. “Don’t you dare. Stop acting like an animal you freak. Same goes to you Hyunjin.” 

Jeongin nods. “He’s right, no fighting is allowed, especially here with the whole town watching.” 

“But you can save it for later. My backyard is free if you guys wanna brawl, I have popcorn too.” 

“Seungmin. No.” 

-

Sunday. 

Jeongin was sitting with his parents again during the service, Seungmin was a few rows infront of him with his family. He noticed an extra person sitting with them, and he raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding to himself. He didn’t his older brother came back for the holidays already. He’ll say hello to Wonpil later. 

On the seats on the other side, he could see Jisung out the corner of his eye, looking grumpy, being forced to sing with his mother gripping onto his arm tightly. 

He’s always looked bright and lively, but Jeongin supposed that whatever he’s been going through is affecting him a little, since he looks rather down these days, face stoic, head low and back hunched. 

“I’m glad this Han Jisung kid is continuously coming here. I’m rooting for him.” His father says, as they sit back down. 

“Oh, why’s that?” His mother chirps and Jeongin almost wants to tell them that Han Jisung and his (now probably disbanded) group of goons had beat him up no less than six separate times, but he’s going to put all that behind him for now. 

“Why, because he’s purifying himself from his sins, and following god’s intended path.” He states confidently. “Homosexuality is disgusting, so I’m glad he’s on the road to change.” 

Jeongin suppresses the urge to roll his eyes. It hurts, it really does. 

Afterwords, Seungmin’s and Jeongin’s parents are still inside the church, talking to the pastor and some friends, while the two hang around outside, waiting for their families to be finished. 

“I didn’t know your brother came back so soon.” 

“Me either, he came really late yesterday, don’t know why.” 

“Why’s Wonpil still inside? Catching up?” 

“I guess.” 

Jisung walks by them, but gets stopped by Seungmin, who pulls him by the arm. 

“Hey, Jisung, you still haven’t showed me your homework!” 

“Why should I? Do I look like I’m six?” 

“We agreed, you have to let me check it before you pass it to the teachers, to make sure it’s as best as it can be.” 

Just then, two middle aged people, a girl who looked like a toddler and a young man, who looked a lot like Jisung started walking over. Then, their eyes fall straight onto Jisung. They must be his family. 

Jisung and Seungmin look down, tearing each other away from themselves harshly. Jeongin watches this with slight curiosity. 

“Jisung!” The young man calls out. “Time to go!” 

“Okay Brian!” He yells back, and leaves Seungmin and Jeongin with a simple nod and wave.

"Shut up! Call me Youngkyun! You can't call me that, you prick!"

“I didn’t know you two were  that  close.” He teases. 

“We’re not. We just have rules that we follow. One of them is checking homework.” Seungmin says firmly, arms crossed. 

Jeongin shrugs. “I didn’t know he has siblings.” 

“Mm, he does. An older brother and a little sister.” Seungmin nods. “They’re both really nice so I don’t know what went wrong with him.” 

“You’ve met them?” Jeongin exclaims, eyebrows raised. 

“I went over to his house once because he insisted on studying in his room. Then his family embarrassed him in front of me so now we never go back.” 

“Eh? What did they do?” 

“Um, it’s a little confidential, I’m sorry. Jisung actually begged on his knees for me to not tell anyone ever so...” He trails off. “Yeah.” 

“Uh huh... okay.” 

Then their parents, and Wonpil are walking up to them, calling for them to join them. 

-

Monday. 

Jeongin sat in math class, staring holes at the back of Hyunjin’s head, tracing patterns in his hair with his eyes. 

He had pondered over it, ever since Hyunjin climbed into his bedroom window and started kissing him like there was no tomorrow, telling him stuff like “You’re mine.” and “I’m yours.” 

Throughout the past week, they managed to talk a fair bit, gave each other a few longing gazes and Jeongin tried his hand at vaping last Thursday up in the bathrooms but he ended swallowing most of the smoke, although the pineapple flavour did taste pleasant. 

Hyunjin fondly laughed at his attempts, smoke flowing out of his mouth like a smooth cloud. He couldn’t believe that he felt a little more jealous than impressed. 

He wondered, just what were they? There were currently no labels and nothing official. They couldn’t just climb windows and sneak kisses forever. 

Then Jeongin backtracked, does he want a boyfriend? Is he ready? Is it what Hyunjin wants? Is Hyunjin ready? 

Then he thinks some more and thinks, why not? They both liked each other, more than just friends do, so that would be the sensible choice. 

Thoughts of Jeongin’s come in and tear down any idyllic dreams of being with Hyunjin. God, why did his father have to be so homophobic? What was he going to do if he wanted to introduce a boyfriend? He would hate to live his life in hiding, only dating and marrying a woman because his family and this entire society deems it acceptable. 

Fuck it, once he graduates high school, he is out of this shitty town and headed for the city, and he’ll never come back. Well, he’d come back just to visit his family, like Woojin did. 

Oh, how jealous he was of Seungmin’s family. He had a sibling to play with, two parents who were loving and accepting and who didn’t drill religion down other people’s throats. A few times he’s that he’s been over at the Kim household, if they were talking about homosexuality, the two simply shrugged and said “well, it is what it is, we cannot change it, and they are born with it, so who cares? Sexuality doesn’t define you.” 

It was right then and there, he almost got out the adoption papers so he could join this amazing family. 

They were religious, but not crazy like his father. 

Maybe he should ask Seungmin how to take care of this properly. 

-

Hyunjin and Jeongin were up in the bathrooms on the top floor. How the teachers haven’t found out yet, was beyond him. 

“I haven’t seen Mina or Mark around anymore. That guy doesn’t even show up for church anymore.” 

“Meh, they’re too busy being lovebirds to care about me anymore.” He chuckles. 

“Mm, hey Hyunjin.” Jeongin sits up, shoulders tense. 

“Yeah?” 

“What are we? Are we... dating..?” 

“Well, do you want to?” 

“I mean yeah, but it isn’t about that. What do you want?” Jeongin snaps. “Everytime you just ask what I want! How about you? Don’t force yourself just because I want it.” 

“Hey.” Hyunin reaches over to pat his shoulder gently, attempting to soothe him. “I’m only asking because I want to make sure you are fully into this. There’s so many things that I want to do but I’m holding myself back from.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You, Jeongin. Whatever you want, I probably want as well. You’re new to this, so I just keep asking and checking that you’re comfortable I guess.” 

“I’m fine, Hyunjin. That doesn’t mean I still don’t want to hear your opinion. Like what if I wanted to jump into a lake full of piranhas with you. Would you simply agree?” 

“That’s different. Would it make you happy if I do?” He winks. 

Jeongin scoffs. “You’re insufferable.” 

“Just the way you like it.” 

“Okay, no but seriously though, are we dating?” 

“Well, what do y- okay, okay.” Hyunjin clears his throat, beginning to blush. “I really want to date you, do you want me as well?” 

Jeongin flushes, unable to stop the giant grin on his face. “Obviously.” 

He leans in and gives Hyunjin a small peck on the lips. 

There we go, he thinks, all done. 

Whatever the consequences were of this newfound relationship, they could always figure it out later.

For now, he was simply happy. 

-

_** Small epilogue -  ** _

Jeongin and Hyunjin’s relationship had been stable for the rest of the year, and well into the new year as well. They hung out at school, rode the bike together, snuck into each other’s places together and Jeongin even convinced him to take school a little more seriously. 

Together, along with Seungmin and Jisung, all four of them managed to pass their final exams, and apply for the university of their choice. 

Jeongin and Hyunjin wanted to go to Seoul together, Jisung was considering flying across the Pacific Ocean to study in America, like his older brother did and Seungmin wanted to go down to Busan. 

The mood was happier than ever. 

It was only weeks before their graduation when his father found out. 

Jeongin had gone out to the bigger town with Hyunjin and accidentally stayed out a little too long. 

When Hyunjin dropped him off and gave him a kiss, his father came storming out the front door, face red and puffy. 

“What the hell is this?” He boomed, pointing at the two boys. “What were you two doing?” 

“Dad please, I can explain-“ 

“Shut it! I don’t want to hear any nonsense excuses!” He cuts him off, voice getting louder by the second. “Not only do you stay out until god knows when, but you’re also fooling around with this punk?”

“Mr. Yang, I-“ 

“You! Back off, you good for nothing, low life!” His father shouts, making Hyunjin flinch away. 

“Dad-“ 

“How dare you! This is not only disrespecting me, but also god! What are you thinking? You’re not fooling around with just any man, but this Hwang Hyujin?” 

“Dad! Listen, I-“ 

Just then his mother comes rushing out of the front door, concern written all over her face. 

“Jeongin? Honey? What’s happening? Why so much yelling? You’ll upset the neighbours.” 

Jeongin’s father grunts. “Tell this sinner that he’s no longer allowed inside this house once he graduates.” 

“Dad-“ 

He doesn’t listen anymore, he just simply barges into the house, shoving his wife aside. 

Jeongin’s mother and Hyunjin come rushing to his side immediately. 

“Jeongin? Are you okay? Why’s your father so upset?” His mother gasps when Jeongin sinks to his knees, tears falling down his cheeks. 

“Ah, Hwang Hyunjin? Hyunjin dear, what’s happened?” His mother asks softly, noticing the way he would look at the air and not at them. 

“Mum.” Jeongin mumbles. “Do you think homosexuality is a sin? Am I disgusting to you?” 

“Jeongin, of course not. You are my child before anything else.” 

“But dad...” 

“Your father is overbearing at times. He’s old fashioned and traditional. It will take some time, but I’m sure he’ll come around.” His mother sits down on the ground next to him, and holds him in her arms. “He loves you, even if he’s strict. He will learn to live with it.” 

“But what about you?” 

“I love you no matter what. I know that there is nothing to be done about it, no amount of praying will change something that is already naturally set.” 

“So, you knew?” Jeongin whispers. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I wanted you to tell us on your own terms.” His mother says. “Hyunjin, come here and comfort your boyfriend will you?” 

Hyunjin sputters. “Boyfriend?” 

“It’s alright, I know. You guys aren’t very good at being discreet.” She smiles kindly up at him. “How’s Jinyoung doing? Is he coming for your graduation?” 

He kneels down, next to Jeongin, who holds his hand tightly. 

“He’s fine, and I’m pretty sure he’ll come for it.” 

“Ah, that’s good.” She turns to look at the both of them lovingly. “I’ll support you two no matter what, I’m sure Jeongin’s father will come around eventually. I will talk to him. I know you’ve both helped each other improve in some way.” 

“Yeah.” Jeongin sighs. “Thanks mum.” 

“No problem, my dear.” 

When graduation came around, his father was still mad at the him. Even when his mother and father would argue over his sexuality and romance, he was still stuck in his ways. 

“Does it matter who he likes? This is our child, he is a part of us!” His mother yelled. His mother almost never raised her voice, so he knew it was getting serious. “Are you choosing religion over your own blood?” 

“Don’t you see woman? That boy is a sinner! Demons are plaguing his mind! Hwang Hyunjin is a punk! This is unnatural and wrong!” 

“That boy is our son! Hyunjin isn’t even a delinquent anymore! I don’t care what the bible says, I will still love my child!” 

Jeongin comes rushing out of his room, to try and make sure his parents don’t kill each other. 

“Dad! Come on! Is it unnatural and wrong to love someone?” 

_ Slap!  _

His face is tilting towards the left, his cheek is numb. His mother gasps in the background. 

“My one and only son. I’ve raised you well, and you were so perfect until now. What happened?” 

“I was always like this. You just happened to find out.” He spits out. “Don’t you love me?” 

“Of course I love you, it’s just that because I do, I cannot watch you choose to live your life like this.” 

“It’s not a choice dad. I was born like this. Nobody corrupted me and there are no demons. Just me.” 

Jeongin sighs when nobody says anything else. “I’ll be in my room.” 

At the graduation ceremony, only his mother showed up. His father still hadn’t accepted it. 

Seungmin and his family was there, as was Jisung’s and Hyunjin’s. 

After all that crap, he was so glad for a mother like his own, friends like his own and for Hyunjin. 

The two of them sat down by the bathrooms in the top floor, for the very last time before they left that building forever. 

“How’s your family? Things good with you and your mum?” 

“Eh, it’s alright.” He shrugs. “I guess I’ve forgiven her, it’s pretty clear she’s here to stay.” 

“Well that’s good. Since she’s come back and made up with you guys, you’ve been much better. No more smoking and no more truancy. I bet your brother’s blood pressure has gone down.”

“Shut up.” Hyunjin laughs. “Yeah anyway, so how are your parents.” 

“Hmm... could be better. My dad still doesn’t accept me. My mum’s cool though.” 

Hyunjin wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls him close. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it’ll get better. Some day soon.” 

“I don’t think so, but thanks.” Jeongin snuggles towards him. 

“Hey, Jeongin. What if we ran away?” 

“What do you mean? Why are you all of a sudden talking about it.” 

“Let’s go to Seoul.” 

“I already sent in my university applications.” 

“Ugh, you’re no fun. I’m trying to create... atmosphere.” 

Jeongin giggles. “Sorry, I’m tired.” 

For now, it was only Jeongin and Hyunjin in this world, and just for a moment it really felt like that. 

Hyunjin kisses him on the cheek. Jeongin looks up. 

His boyfriend sure was pretty. 

Fin. 

-

**Author's Note:**

> Did I abandon everything in my life just to write this story? Maybe. 
> 
> Anyways, if you managed to make it this far, I hope you enjoyed reading. Leave a comment or a kudo if you did, it really makes my day <3
> 
> If you have anything to point out or criticize, please do so politely or I might cry. 
> 
> My twitter is @peonymangoes


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